It's been a while...

Oh, man. Life has been cray as of late, and I could not be more over it. As far as fitness/exercise- I have not been doing a stellar job. However, I am back to weighing in weekly so the only place to go is up. I have been subsisting on iced coffee, bananas, and granola bars because I have neither the time nor desire to cook. This is changing though. With my manfriend moving in, we will be able to plan delicious (and healthy) meals that I can make for him.

I am also looking forward to settling into a routine when my regular school schedule starts up again, and if that means cutting back at work, so be it. Speaking of school, despite only taking two classes this summer, I am often overwhelmed. I think a lot of this stems from the fact that I have an actual final and a 10 page paper for one class and the professor for the other one is not clear at all with his expectations or his grading criteria and I fell like I am living last summer's crim pro nightmare all over again on a smaller scale. I have never seen myself as a practicing attorney and I am still in school to finish what I started, to have a degree for all of the money I have spent but not because I feel like I want to set up shop live in infamy by some Johnny Cochran esque tagline. When I graduated from college, I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do, lobby. However, I knew better than to expect people to listen to a 22 year old. They probably won't listen to a 24 year old, but having a J.D. does command some authority.

However, this does not calm my restless mind. Every day I look at jobs online in my target market. The utility of this is clear, if I begin to hate this so fiercely, I can leave. And I am the only one responsible for my happiness. It just really sucks that I have a new bathing suit that I still haven't had the chance to wear and July 4th was just another day for me.

I think the root of these feelings is homesickness. I miss my family. I ask my boyfriend everyday if we can just pack up and move to Modesto because I need my tribe. Come August 2nd I am taking off for 15 days to be good to myself. I am flying back home (taking off super early because I am that anxious to get home). I plan on doing nothing more than walking the neighborhood, riding my beach cruiser, working out, and working on my tan. In the meantime...

 Also, it's really weird for me to write a post like this, most of the time I would prefer to write a "man, that sucked but I survived and came out on the other side" so it's kind of weird to write this in the place I am currently in.

It didn't have to end this way.
My car officially died today. At least I believe that's the layman's way of saying there is a blown head gasket and it is more economical to cut my losses and move on then to go for a whole engine rebuild.

The sad thing is, there have been so many times where I wished the damage would be so severe that I would be able to get a new car.I never thought I would feel so sad about it, and yet what she lacks in resale value she makes up for in sentimental value.

She has a bad gasket, but she also has
*the collar from my first pet on her rear view mirror. I promised him that wherever I went, he went. I've always credited my good luck with close yellow lights to him looking out for me.

*The pink cowgirl boot necklace also dangling from my rear view mirror. Purchased in Oakdale with 2 of my best friends, one who lives way to far away in Hawaii and the other who got pregnant and then married and then literally dropped off the face of the earth. Memories with those two warm my heart.

*Glitter puff paint stains on the leather of my driver seat and a little on the steering wheel that takes me back to my sorority days and the random shenanigans we often found ourselves in.

* My very last parking pass from Fresno State (Spring 10)
This is probably the most sentimental of all. The 4 years I spent at Fresno State were so much fun and I learned so much. I am grateful to have gotten the most wonderful education at the school that is the pride of the central valley. I am a bulldog forever.

We've been through a lot together. She's seen me through high school graduation, college graduation, and my heart is rather heavy knowing she won't be there for my law school graduation.

So, thanks for all the memories.
And all the car repair bills along the way ;)

The In Between

So I've been absent from the blogosphere for a while. Mostly because I haven't felt like I had a whole lot to offer. Life has been in between lately. I'm in between loving and hating school, loving and hating exercise, being both terrified and excited for the future.

I suppose if I were to be entirely honest here, I would say that I had been lacking in the motivation that is usually so much my personality. I didn't want to read for school, I didn't want to get up at 5 to work out and let's not even talk about the fact that my duvet cover had been sitting on my floor for weeks because I didn't want to referee the battle between it and my comforter.

I think this apathy rubbed off on my weight loss efforts. I have hit a plateau where I keep gaining and losing the same 3 pounds. It has been really frustrating, but at the same time I know what has not been working for me and I keep making the same mistake.

However, I am now finally feeling like myself again. Okay, so maybe the duvet is still on the floor, but that's only because I've been busy studying and working out and just enjoying life. Which is a positive thing. And even though I hit a plateau, I still feel like I have a lot to put in the WIN category
- I still have been weighing in and attending meetings faithfully
- I still track everything
- I still work out everyday
- I still think I did really well on  some of my midterms
- I have still come a LONG way.
I was flipping through pictures on my Facebook yesterday and found this

This picture was taken last January exploring/ hiking a trail with my bestie. A lot has changed in a year!

55 lbs lighter, size medium. Still wearing awesome oversized tortoise shell sunnies. I'm still, 25-30 pounds from goal, but I can and will get there.
Sometimes what you need to propel you forward is looking back at where you've been.
I have rededicated myself to program and school and I think I'm gonna switch up my diet a little by going heavier on protein and veggies. As a recovering vegetarian, I sometimes eat meat out but I never really think to cook it and I think it will help me have more energy and stay fuller longer. Overall, I think it's a better use of my points than empty carbs.
This is not an attack on carbs. I still plan on eating my whole wheat 45 cal bread, oatmeal, and fruit, but other things like cookies and baked goods etc. should be scaled back.
This is kind of a South Beach phase 2 approach, which I think will jump start the scale to moving back in my favor.
PS- the fitnessista did an awesome post on South Beach this week. Her blog is an awesome resource, she's so down to earth and relatable and all about making your diet/ exercise plan work for you. Check it out!

Triple W (Weekend Workout Warrior)

I'm not a weekend warrior by any means because I work out 6-7 times a week. That being said, I think the weekend is a great opportunity to give the old workout a little extra oomph. Today, I dedicated 2 hours to circuits
15 min elliptical (allows me to work at a higher intensity than usual)
Shoulders (3 sets)
15 min elliptical
Back exercises (3 sets)
15 min elliptical
Abs

Phoenix...

With weather like this

I don't feel weird for eating summery food like this

That would be one 0% Strawberry Chobani, layered with tons of berries. Served in a martini glass, naturally. It's good to be back in Arizona but I sure do miss this little one

An important dinner

Tonight I'm making dinner for my boyfriend and his mom. I haven't spent much time with her since she's been here and I'm kind of nervous.
The Menu:

Green Salad

Homemade Chicken Pot Pies (veggies+white meat chicken+ chicken broth+ Fat Free Sour Cream)
They are way lightened up and only have a crust on the top (I would estimate about 8 points)

Homemade Chocolate Tart. (Okay, so not light. Not at all, but a little piece will be okay)

Fingers crossed that it goes well.

salad BEAST

I'll admit, I am absolutely addicted to other health and fitness blogs. Especially the Fitnessista. She has awesome workouts for all abilities and availabilities. I especially love that she calls salads with lots of yummy and healthy toppings "salad beasts" I have adopted this term into my everyday vocabulary. So what exactly is a salad beast? While I was home for Christmas, my parents and I went to a salad bar and I made a salad beast...



I started with a bed of romaine and kale and added peppers, onions, shredded carrots, roasted garlic, roasted beets, craisins, and olives topped with some parmesan snow. I had a side of fat free orange poppyseed dressing but it wasn't needed.

And some people say salads are boring? If your salad is boring, get creative!

Thanksgiving!

I flew home to spend the holiday with my family. It is my mom's absolute favorite holiday. I flew in on Sunday and Evan flew in on the actual holiday. It was a whirlwind of time at the DMV, baking, and working on a motion for summary judgment.
Since I had lost so much weight and changed my hair, my sister didn't even recognize me when I got to baggage claim!
Then we drove home to meet the newest member of the family- Itsy Bitsy




And then the baking marathon started.
I made a homemade apple pie (pumpkin is my moms)

And since my teddy bear was flying in super early Thanksgiving morning, I made him cinnamon rolls. I use this recipe, it is foolproof despite yeast dough's reputation for being temperamental.
http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=242784


And my absolute favorite- Martha Stewart's pumpkin cookies with brown butter icing.
So so yummy!!
http://www.marthastewart.com/318741/pumpkin-cookies-with-brown-butter-icing

Then the festivities began!
My sister and I

I totally had a giant piece of cucumber in my mouth when this picture was taken

The tripod-
My sister in law, my sister, and me.


Me and my love


And since my sister went to her in-law's for the night after our family celebration, Evan and I stayed at her house to pugsit for the night. Frankin Delano was very well behaved and I was feeling like I needed some exercise so we put his jacket on him and took him for a walk to the park and I even took him down the slide!


It was a wonderful holiday and was a huge test of my self control as I am a creature of habit and being without my routine, my gym, and being around all of the food was a challenge. However, I stayed focus, tried to exercise as much as I could and ate reasonably. It was a wonderful holiday with those I love most.

The time I met Kreayshawn

The day after the concert I flew home for Thanksgiving and guess who was on my flight to the bay area?

KREAYSHAWN!!!
Can you say Kray Kray?! at first I didn't recognize her but then there was princess and I was like "no, way!" So, I got brave and instead of taking creeper pictures with my iPhone I was like "Are you Kreayshawn?!" She said yeah and I told her I was at her concert asked if I could take a picture. She was like "I look like crap but sure".

And then we were on the same flight- hella cool. But somebody wasn't happy I left

2-3!

I also celebrated my birthday! I turned 23 and I am so grateful for everything that has happened in the past year including
- moving to phoenix
- starting law school
- moving in with my best friend
- meeting amazing friends in Phoenix
- meeting my Evan :)

My birthday fell on the last day of classes so it was the perfect excuse to get a little crazy
It all started with a volcano bowl and ended with a very long ride on the lightrail.
This picture was taken at a club that has a rooftop dance floor.


The next night we went to dinner at our favorite restaurant Oregano's.



I love this place.

How could you not?!
We ordered the garlic bread (best garlic bread I've had) I had a bellini and then the Jr. size of the Oregano's favorite salad. This is the definition of a salad beast. So Yummy!


Then Evan surprised me with a Kreayshawn concert!! We had such a good time. He and my bestie colluded on the plans and we had a great time. We grabbed a couple of drinks and enjoyed the show!

New Look!

Well, losing 50 lbs can make a girl want to change her look up a little bit. After 8 months of constant highlights my hair was finally that blonde-blonde that I wanted. But I was bored. I am a huge fan of Glee and love Lea Michele's hair so I decided to go dark and get bangs. The final product is a little more Zooey Deschanel than Lea Michele but I'm not complaining. I'm still trying to train my bangs but I love it!

Finally

I have so many updates!!!!!!
First up-
A recap of Missouri.

Evan and I went to a wedding in Augusta,MO. It was stunning. Being a northern California native growing up about 2 hours from Napa, I wasn't sure what to expect from Missouri's wine country. I am happy to report that it surpassed my expectations. It was an absolutely idyllic setting for such a beautiful wedding. It was also nice to get out of Phoenix and experience the fall season as we both had always known it with turning leaves and a slight chill in the air.

We flew out on a Friday night and arrived in St. Louis at midnight. Then we went on a small adventure to procure our rental car. There was an hour and a half wait because there were so many people and only one working!!! I guess they weren't expecting that many people even though they give you a time to pick up the car. So, I sprawled out on the chairs in the waiting area while my handsome travel companion waited in line. We got a Jeep Patriot which was a cute little SUV and it came with my favorite amenities- A satellite radio and bun warmers ;) They must have had two dozen Chevy Cruze's in the lot and I was kind of bummed that we didn't get one of those because I kind of want one and was curious to see how they drive, etc. But we procured a means of transportation for going from St. Louis where we stayed to Augusta where the wedding was.
It was really funny because it was cold and dark and we were tired and Evan started driving up to check out of the lot and he said "man, it takes a lot to get this car moving" and then the guy checking us out told us the the emergency brake was on!

Then we got to the hotel. The Westin in St. Louis was absolutely amazing! The giant soaking tub was a girl's dream come true!! We had a beautiful room and the view right out our window was of Busch Stadium- and this was the weekend after the Cardinals won the World Series so it was super cool! We ordered in Italian that night (only place that delivers after 2) and slept. Such a wonderful welcome to the city.


On Saturday we woke up pretty late, got dressed and went on the hunt for food. I am not from St. Louis but my impression is that there is only Italian food. We walked about 2 miles (why drive when you have cute boots made for walking and skipped the gym?) We came across this really cool looking grocery store. Ev was suspicious because he thought it was like a typical grocery store and I thought A) I want something healthy and a grocery store will have a produce department and B) this is definitely not a typical grocery store because it is advertising wine and beer tasting. So we went in- it was totally like a Whole Foods but without the "organic" vibe. Gelato tasting, espresso bar, huge deli with everything you could want. Ev got a quesadilla and I got a 0% Honey Chobani (my favorite flavor!!) a pint of raspberries (I cannot control myself around raspberries, too good) to mix in, a diet coke and we split a cupcake. I know, not exactly healthy but it was made by a Cupcake Wars champion. If you know me, you know how I feel about Food Network- I just had to try it! I was totally worth it and I say if you really want to try something that's calorie dense, find someone to split it with.
And I may or may not have bought a bottle of moscato to drink in the giant soaking tub. Okay, I did.

Then we got all fancy for the wedding. It had taken me weeks to find a dress and then at the very last store I went to (literally) I found it, and it was under budget. I love Express :) And I got the best accessory ever- my teddy bear in a suit- he looked so handsome, but that's his usual M.O. ;)



The scenery was stunning!



He wasn't double fisting, the wine was mine- and it was delicious!


We got our drink and dance on and then called it a night and drove back to St. Louis.



On Sunday we woke up late (blame it on jet lag) and found a super seedy smoke filled diner to eat lunch. Seriously, the place is like a ghost town. And then we went on our merry sightseeing way- First stop- the arch. It was so cool! I loved the museum


and then we got in the little cubbies that take you to the top. They were pretty creepy and every time I felt it move I was convinced we were going to plummet to our death. Maybe that's a little melodramatic but I don't like things I can't control. We made it to the top and it was so windy that day that it was actually swaying!!! it was worth the fear though for the view!



Then we went back down, walked through the park and decided to go up the freeway to the zoo!! We had a blast! It was so much fun- I was a little bummed that by the time we had seen all of the other exhibits and we got to the bears they were already asleep but we got to see the penguins!




As we were taking pictures in the paring lot, it hit me. I needed Starbucks.
It had been too long since I had coffee and I was having a hardcore craving/ lack of caffeine meltdown. Luckily, my manfriend is very understanding of the relationship I have with BUX and with a little help from iPhone GPS and a 20 minute drive, we ended up at Starbucks in the West End. It was such a charming neighborhood with cute apartment buildings and 4 story houses. As we walked into the coffee shop, I spotted a bulldog puppy!!!! She was so cute, I almost forgot about coffee for about 5 minutes as I pet her. So precious! I definitely have a thing for the squishy faced dog breeds. Love.

After coffee, we spent a little time walking and exploring the neighborhood and I saw a cute little chocolatier. I am a sucker for trying local specialties so we got a little box. They had the most divine dark chocolate covered peanut brittle ever. So glad we stopped and that Evan knows whenever we get out of the car there is going to be at least 20 minutes of walking so I don't feel guilty and he's patient about that.

Then we went back to the hotel to change and figure out what was for dinner. I really wanted Chinese and had seen a place the previous day on our excursion to breakfast and wanted to go there only EVERYTHING IS CLOSED ON SUNDAY'S IN ST. LOUIS!!! We literally could not find a place on Yelp. We headed back in the direction to the zoo where there was a mall and we knew we could find a chain restaurant. we ended up at CPK. We ordered the vegetarian lettuce wraps as an appetizer and then I ordered the Kung Pao pasta. I was a little suspicious, but I was really craving Chinese and it was so good! I took about a cup of it and put it on my app plate and left the rest. As good as it was, I know that typical restaurant pasta portions are about 3 cups and can contain as may as 1200 calories. No, thank you.

On Monday, we woke up ready to bid farewell to the midwest and our little vacation. I found a highly acclaimed greasy spoon for breakfast so we headed there and then to the mall just to walk and window shop, burn off breakfast and kill time before our flight.
It was a wonderful time and a great little vacation.

I want...

I want to be done with finals

I want to be at my parent's house

I want to be more organized

I want to eat a piece of really good gingerbread for dinner

I want to eat a macaron for dessert

I want to wash that meal down with copious amounts of pink champagne and possibly a cup of coffee.

I want to be more motivated to exercise, lately it's been a struggle with myself but I am getting it done.

I want to pretend that a 1.2 lb weight gain didn't happen over the past 4 weeks.

I want to hide out from the library under my covers with my cat.

I want to bake cookies with my mom in her very festive kitchen.

I want to sing "Feliz Navidad" at the top of lungs and remember how much my Grandma loved that song.

I want to wear a beret and boots and my peacoat for an audience that does not include my classmates.

I want to spend more time with my boyfriend since we'll be separated for a whole month for Christmas.

I want his present that I ordered from amazon to show up because I can't afford to re purchase it.

I want to play with my parent's new puppy who is absolutely adorable.

I want to put my suitcase away because it's taking up entirely too much square footage in the living room, but I know I'll need it very soon.

I want to sit in Starbucks with nothing better to do then read fashion blogs.

I want exercise garments for my lower half that are not crops.

I do have more eloquent posts to come, but it will have to wait until after finals :(

# Winning!

So, I know I've been silent for a while, but I have a lot to do and it's been taking me a lot longer because at this point in the semester I'm a little burned out and my motivation is lacking.

Since the last time I updated this blog, big things have happened. My weight is down 4.4 pounds. My total weight loss so far is 48.8!!! Almost 50. Sooooo close!

I also ran my first 5k. It was horrible. First, we had to start and finish on wet grass- gross, no traction and it got on the back of my legs- then everytime the course turned it was uphill. I kid you not. But I finished it. I wasn't the last person and I got the best time I've ever gotten for three and a quarter miles. Afterward, the BF and I went to Denny's because I wanted pancakes for my first ever post- 5k breakfast. And then a nap. I love being able to say that I ran my first 5K when I was 22. Because the big 2-3 is exactly 2 weeks from today :)
Check In!


Bring it, 5K











I'm updating from the airport right now, the BF and I are taking off St. Louis for the weekend for his friend's wedding! I'll be back with beaucoup pics!

An apology.

Sorry for leaving you guys high and dry the past 2 weeks. Man, what a 2 weeks they have been.
I turned around and all of a sudden it's fall, midterms happened, break happened- as did a roadtrip with my boyfriend, the world lost a visionary, Oktoberfest...
For a while my life looked like this...


The Roadtrip-
we went to Disneyland and had a blast despite the rain, I haven't been since my sister's bachelorette party so it was nice to be there. That place is always magical

The first thing we saw


This brings back so many memories


Everyone needs this pic


Even though she's not a princess, she's my favorite Disney character


This is my favorite ride- even more so at night when you can see all of the original Disneyland lit up


Fantasyland is my favorite land


Before the parade I wanted a picture by the giant pumpkin

Vertical, please!

Second Take

Me- "Babe, does my hair look okay?"
Ev- "Looks Great!"
Me- "Are you sure? It was rained on, like, all day."
He's so patient

Third time's a charm?

Sure Is!

Oktoberfest on Sunday

Oh Yeah!!

Let's grab a brew and take some pics!!!
Me w/ Ev


Smooches!


Me w/ the bestie!!


Needless to say I got a little off track diet/ exercise wise- but still down .4 since I last reported. Need to step up my game but I did the right thing and went to the gym this morning and I made a meal plan for the rest of the week

It may seem like a bit much but failing to plan is planning to fail